My littlest kid has a January birthday. This meant that he missed the dec 31st school cut off for kindergarden and is the oldest in his class. He stayed home with me for a whole year longer than he would have if he was not born two weeks past his due date.
Kindergarden is only 1/2 days so last year we still got to spend lots of time together.
Tomorrow he starts grade one. Full days. At 6.5 years old he will only now be gone all day, every day. 6.5 years of being my sidekick is over.
I have stayed home with all 3 of my kids. No daycare or other full time care. I have worked on my photography business in and around and under and over the kids schedules. It has been a juggle and at times super stressful, but it's the way I've chosen to live. Being with them was important to me, I love kids and I enjoy doing kid things so it just made sense for us.
Tomorrow will be the start of my new life. Three kids spaced 3-5 years each means I've been home with kids for 15 years. That's a long time. That's all of my adult life. 15 years I've had small sidekicks. 15 years of putting off work to go to the park, or popping in a video so I can get work done. 15 years of weekends spent in the darkroom while the kids hang out with dad. 15 years of always feeling like I'm working too much and hanging out with kids too much while also feeling like I'm not dedicating enough to my business or my kids. I will be able to actually work for 6 hours at a time, every weekday, without interruption. It sounds like a miracle. Still, part of my identity is gone. Who am I without small sidekicks?
Today I'm every emotion all at once.
Here is my youngest, sitting across the table this past week with his hippo. He is 6.5 years old and a quintessential mamas boy.
